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Really, this again?

We feel like we've written this article a thousand times but once again, Britain's security services are complaining that they can't read absolutely all of your online communications and it's JUST NOT FAIR!

Sir Andrew Parker, head of MI5, is asking tech companies to give spy agencies "exceptional access" (meaning in exceptions, not exceptionally detailed although we wouldn't be surprised) to encrypted messages, especially on Facebook (and presumably Facebook-owned WhatsApp) which is introducing end-to-end encryption.

Parker's comments were made in an ITV interview that'll be broadcast this Thursday. In it, Sir Andrew apparently bemoans the fact that your inbox is "a wild west, unregulated, inaccessible to authorities" and says it's "increasingly mystifying" that spies can't just have a quick look.

As ever, the excuse is that MI5 and other spy agencies can't see what terrorists are saying to one another, but as we all know, this kind of argument is always used to try and scare us into giving up the tiny sliver of privacy we have left. Much like the way Met Police chief Cressida Dick recently said having your face scanned against your will is better than "a knife in the chest," as if those were the only two options.

"Use the brilliant technologists youve got," says Parker, to "provide end-to-end encryption but on an exceptional basis [...] where there is a legal warrant and a compelling case to do it, provide access to stop the most serious forms of harm happening." Sorry, how is that end-to-end? From one end to the other with a quick diversion to MI5? Cool.

Essentially, Parker is saying "hey locksmiths, can you provide locks that are totally secure on everyone's doors and windows, but also open with a master key? BUT STILL SECURE!"

As a coalition of tech companies said on one of the many previous occasions spies pleaded for backdoors, it would turn "a two-way conversation into a group chat where the government is the additional participant." Sweet! Who doesn't want Joe The Spy sending gif reacts to your texts?

Even if we do give up the last bit of privacy we had and allow spies into our chats, we won't be safe, Parker admits. Asked if he thought MI5 was in control of the situation in 2017 when there was a string of terror attacks, he said, "Well were not in control of it ever, are we? To be in control would mean that somehow we could manage this whole landscape and stop everything. We cant. We cant do that."

Super. [The Guardian]

Main image: MW238 via Flickr Creative Commons

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MI5 Still Thinks Encryption Backdoors are an Excellent Idea That Couldn't Possibly Go Wrong - Gizmodo UK